Umar ne \u00e7ok severdi k\u0131z\u0131 \u0130remhan’\u0131. G\u00f6zleri mutluluktan \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l parlard\u0131 onu izlerken. Kuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131p s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duydu\u011funda g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne kar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 sanki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131zca\u011f\u0131z\u0131n bedeni. O, ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131k \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda Tanr\u0131’n\u0131n g\u00f6n\u00fcl avuntusu olarak verdi\u011fi bir hediyeydi.<\/p>\n
Sevgili e\u015fi Muslimat\u2019\u0131n d\u00fcnyay\u0131 terk etmeden \u00f6nce kuca\u011f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir yadigard\u0131 \u0130remhan. Di\u011fer alt\u0131 \u00e7ocu\u011funu da\u011fl\u0131 geleneklerine g\u00f6re sevememi\u015fti, sar\u0131lamam\u0131\u015f, \u00f6pmemi\u015fti. Ya\u015fl\u0131 ana babas\u0131 vard\u0131 evinde ve onlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 ilgisiz kalmal\u0131yd\u0131. Bu \u00f6rf\u00fcn gere\u011fi olarak bir yabanc\u0131 gibi davranm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na. Onlar da babalar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 hep mesafeliydiler. Onun yan\u0131na \u00e7ekinerek girip \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor, konu\u015furken ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ne e\u011fiyorlard\u0131. Zaman r\u00fczgar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fczlerde hissettirmeden ge\u00e7ip gitmi\u015f, \u00f6nce ya\u015fl\u0131 ana babas\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f, sonra kendisini ya\u015fland\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Fakat altm\u0131\u015f\u0131na merdiven dayad\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131llarda Y\u00fcce tanr\u0131 ona y\u00fcre\u011fini co\u015fkuyla dolduran bir k\u0131z evlat arma\u011fan etmi\u015fti. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 sapsar\u0131, y\u00fcz\u00fc kartopu gibi g\u00f6z al\u0131c\u0131 bu k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011funun sevimlili\u011fi Umar\u2019a \u00f6rf\u00fc adeti terk ettirmi\u015f, onun i\u00e7ine neredeyse bir dede \u015fefkatini b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Y\u0131llard\u0131r \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na g\u00f6steremedi\u011fi sevgiyi \u015fefkati sanki biriktirmi\u015f, hepsini \u0130remhan\u2019a saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7ocuk oluyordu onunla oynarken, saatlerce kuca\u011f\u0131ndan indirmiyor, s\u00f6yledi\u011fi yar\u0131m yamalak s\u00f6zlere kat\u0131la kat\u0131la g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Bu y\u00fczden k\u0131skan\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 biraz \u0130remhan, evlenip baba oca\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f karde\u015fleri bile ara s\u0131ra annelerine “\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 evlendirdikten sonra \u00e7ocuk do\u011furman\u0131n ay\u0131b\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l g\u00f6ze ald\u0131n?” derlerdi.<\/p>\n
Umar \u0130remhan\u2019a olan sevgisi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden e\u015fini bile incitmi\u015fti bir kez ki, akl\u0131na geldik\u00e7e y\u00fcre\u011fini kanatan bir hat\u0131rayd\u0131 bu. Muslimat\u2019\u0131n galn\u0131\u015f yapmak i\u00e7in hamur yo\u011furdu\u011fu bir g\u00fcn k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u0130remhan onun \u00e7evresinde s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcyor ve ikide bir minik parmaklar\u0131n\u0131 annesinin \u00f6n\u00fcndeki hamura uzat\u0131yordu. Muslimat k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n eline hafif\u00e7e vurarak onu uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmak istemi\u015fti ama nazl\u0131 \u0130remhan bas bas ba\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu yasa\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k. Umar k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duyunca gelmi\u015f onu yan\u0131na alm\u0131\u015f ve han\u0131m\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sesini y\u00fckselterek<\/p>\n
-Onu bir daha incitirsen seni incitirim Muslimat. Onu bir daha incitirsen seni \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f anne baban\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u00f6nderirim, demi\u015fti.<\/p>\n
Otuz y\u0131ll\u0131k e\u015finden bu azar\u0131 i\u015fitmek k\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Muslimat\u2019\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fip \u00f6n\u00fcndeki hamurla me\u015fgul oluyor g\u00f6r\u00fcnmek istedi ama yana\u011f\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fclen bir damla ya\u015f Umar\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnden ka\u00e7mam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bir s\u00fcre sonra e\u015fini yitirdi\u011finde Umar\u2019\u0131n i\u00e7inde bir s\u0131z\u0131 olarak kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu iki damla g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131.<\/p>\n
Muslimat \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde \u0130remhan alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131 hen\u00fcz. Nazla b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, sevgiye ilgiye al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuktu o.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
Han\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 kaybetti\u011fi g\u00fcnlerde Umar iliklerini donduran kar ayaz\u0131ndan ka\u00e7\u0131p s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 odas\u0131nda s\u0131z\u0131p kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ate\u015fin ba\u015f\u0131nda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc o tuhaf r\u00fcyay\u0131. G\u00f6z alabildi\u011fine uzanan geni\u015f bir ovay\u0131 kat eden bir demiryolunda, iki ray\u0131n aras\u0131nda ayakta duruyordu. G\u00fcn\u00fcn hangi saati oldu\u011funu kestirmeye imkan yoktu. Mat renklere boyanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ortal\u0131k. Sanki ayr\u0131 bir iklimde, ayr\u0131 bir diyardayd\u0131. Sa\u011fl\u0131 sollu at \u00f6l\u00fcleriyle doluydu demiryolu. Kimisi tamamen \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, kimisi yeni vurulmu\u015f at \u00f6l\u00fcleri vard\u0131 her tarafta. Ku\u015flar u\u00e7uyordu le\u015flerin \u00fcst\u00fcnde, ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131nlatan ku\u015f seslerinden ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir ses duyulmuyordu ovada. Nereye gidece\u011fini, ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kestiremeden ko\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 yol boyunca. Hep ayn\u0131 sonsuz d\u00fczl\u00fck \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na, hep ayn\u0131 at le\u015fleri. Demir yolundan ayr\u0131l\u0131p at \u00f6l\u00fclerinin aras\u0131nda dola\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 sonra. G\u00f6zleri bu tek tip manzaraya yabanc\u0131 bir \u015feyler ar\u0131yordu sanki. \u0130\u00e7i anlat\u0131lamaz bir endi\u015feyle dolu bir \u015fekilde geziniyordu bu b\u00fcy\u00fck mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde. Sonra at \u00f6l\u00fclerinden birine dikildi bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131. A\u011fz\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131na engel olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131kla \u00e7\u0131nlatt\u0131 ovay\u0131. At\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc sevgili evlatlar\u0131ndan birine aitti. Sonra bir ba\u015fka ata \u00e7evirdi bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131, o tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir kom\u015fusu, di\u011feri kuzeni, di\u011feri gelinine ait. \u0130ki elini y\u00fcz\u00fcne kapat\u0131p \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 Umar. At \u00f6l\u00fclerinin \u00fcst\u00fcnde u\u00e7u\u015fan kara ku\u015flar\u0131n kahkahalar\u0131n\u0131 bast\u0131ran \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar koyverdi.<\/p>\n
Uzand\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden do\u011frulup g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerinin kabus oldu\u011funu anlay\u0131nca derinden bir “Dela bu hast\u0131m!” dedi. Kalk\u0131p abdest ald\u0131. Bu kabusun verdi\u011fi endi\u015feyi atmak i\u00e7in namaza durdu.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
\u0130kinci D\u00fcnya Sava\u015f\u0131n\u0131n ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fcnyan\u0131n her k\u00f6\u015fesinde hissedildi\u011fi y\u0131llar… Umar\u2019\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fcnyas\u0131na \u00e7ok uzak k\u00f6\u015felerde insanlar birbirini \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcyordu, \u015fehirler bombalan\u0131yordu. \u00c7e\u00e7enya\u2019ya da d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu bu ate\u015ften s\u0131\u00e7rayan k\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131mlar. Sava\u015fa giden \u00c7e\u00e7en gen\u00e7lerin \u00f6l\u00fcm haberleri geliyordu birer iki\u015fer. Rusya\u2019n\u0131n her yan\u0131 alev alevdi. Tanr\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fcleri cezaland\u0131r\u0131rken iyiler de nasibini al\u0131yordu ya\u015fanan felaketlerden. \u0130nsanlar ya sosyalistti ya fa\u015fist. Zarar vermek ama\u00e7land\u0131ktan sonra birisi i\u00e7in “fa\u015fistlere yard\u0131m ediyor, Almanlarla i\u015fbirli\u011fi yap\u0131yor” demek kafiydi. Sava\u015ft\u0131 k\u0131sacas\u0131… B\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131yla u\u011fursuz, lanetli bir sava\u015f.<\/p>\n
Kahrolas\u0131 bir a\u011f\u0131z Stalin\u2019in kula\u011f\u0131na \u00c7e\u00e7en halk\u0131n\u0131n Almanlarla i\u015fbirli\u011fi yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015f olmal\u0131. Bu da\u011fl\u0131lar y\u0131llard\u0131r Ruslardan gelen her \u015feye kar\u015f\u0131 koyuyorlard\u0131. Y\u0131llard\u0131r kendilerine dayat\u0131lan her \u015feye direniyor, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc susturulam\u0131yorlard\u0131. Stalin\u2019in Rusya\u2019s\u0131na uyum sa\u011flamak i\u00e7in \u00e7aba g\u00f6stermiyorlard\u0131, gelenekleriyle dinleriyle ya\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131. Onlardan kurtulmak i\u00e7in bundan uygun bir f\u0131rsat ele ge\u00e7mezdi. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n birbirini k\u0131r\u0131p ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi bir devirdi nas\u0131l olsa, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fclen hi\u00e7 kimsenin hesab\u0131 sorulam\u0131yordu. Yok edilen bir halk\u0131n hesab\u0131n\u0131 da hi\u00e7 kimse sormayacakt\u0131 nas\u0131l olsa. Onlar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 Sovyetleri \u00e7evreleyen demir perdenin d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131ksa bile…<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
1944 k\u0131\u015f\u0131… Kafkasya dondurucu ayaza teslim. Ulu da\u011flara kar ya\u011f\u0131yor, d\u0131\u015far\u0131da \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc bir da\u011f so\u011fu\u011fu. \u00c7e\u00e7enler evlerinin duvarlar\u0131 i\u00e7ine g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fc ocaklar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda cephedeki o\u011fullar\u0131na mektup yaz\u0131yorlar. Kurtlar uluyor d\u0131\u015far\u0131da, k\u00f6pekler huzursuz.<\/p>\n
G\u00f6kten d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u00e7esine ani bir \u015fekilde Rus askeri ara\u00e7lar\u0131yla dolmu\u015ftu \u00c7e\u00e7enya. Halklara ya\u015farken cenneti vaat eden Sovyet Birli\u011finin K\u0131z\u0131l ordusunun kurulu\u015f y\u0131ld\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc olan 23 \u015eubatta yap\u0131lacak b\u00fcy\u00fck kutlamalara haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu her taraf. S\u00f6ylentiye g\u00f6re K\u0131z\u0131l ordunun 26. kurulu\u015f bayram\u0131 fa\u015fist Almanlar\u0131n Sovyet topraklar\u0131nda u\u011frad\u0131klar\u0131 yenilgiyle birlikte kutlanacakt\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131l ordu Almanya kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi b\u00fcy\u00fck diren\u00e7le d\u00fcnyaya kendisini kan\u0131tlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Co\u015fkuyla kutlanmal\u0131yd\u0131 bu bayram. Sovyet onurunu d\u00fcnyaya duyuracak bir co\u015fkuyla kutlanmal\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n
Rus askerlerinin \u00c7e\u00e7enya\u2019ya geli\u015finin gerek\u00e7esi olarak bu bayram kutlamalar\u0131 g\u00f6steriliyordu. Belki de Almanlara kar\u015f\u0131 Kafkasyal\u0131lar\u0131n kahramanca kar\u015f\u0131 koymalar\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fckafat\u0131 olsun diye Kuzey Kafkasya se\u00e7ilmi\u015fti bayram i\u00e7in. Uzun kaputlar\u0131na sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f silahl\u0131 binlerce asker da\u011f k\u00f6ylerine var\u0131ncaya dek her yere da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Her yer askeri ara\u00e7larla ve a\u011f\u0131r silahlarla doluydu. \u0130nsanlar evlerinden uzakta askerlik yapan delikanl\u0131lara konuk severliklerini g\u00f6stermek i\u00e7in yar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu adeta. Garnizonlara yiyecek ta\u015f\u0131yordu halk. Bununla birlikte so\u011fuk, \u00fcrpertici bir tavr\u0131 vard\u0131 askerlerin. Kimisi insanlarla g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelmek istemiyordu sanki. Kimisi onlar\u0131n ikram ettiklerini bile yemiyordu.<\/p>\n
\u00c7e\u00e7enya 23 \u015eubat Bayram\u0131n\u0131 bekliyordu. Herkesin zihninde farkl\u0131 endi\u015feler, y\u00fcreklerde tuhaf bir korku…<\/p>\n
Ve geldi K\u0131z\u0131l ordu bayram\u0131.<\/p>\n
K\u0131z\u0131l bir \u00f6rt\u00fc d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc sanki g\u00f6kten yere.<\/p>\n
NKVD birlikleri \u015fehir ve kasabalarda meydanlar\u0131 doldurmu\u015f, k\u00f6ylerde giri\u015f \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flar tutulmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n
Halk ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc bir \u015feylerin oldu\u011funun fark\u0131nda huzursuz ve \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n bir bekleyi\u015f i\u00e7indeyken ani bir emirle harekete ge\u00e7mi\u015fti Rus askerleri. \u00d6nceden konu\u015fulup kararla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lan plan uygulamaya konmu\u015f, birden bire \u00c7e\u00e7en topraklar\u0131ndaki b\u00fct\u00fcn Rus askerleri ayn\u0131 emri hayk\u0131rmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Herkes tren istasyonlar\u0131nda toplanacakt\u0131. “Siz Almanlarla i\u015fbirli\u011fi yapt\u0131n\u0131z. Al\u00e7ak Almanlar\u0131 tercih ettiniz!” diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu NKVD subaylar\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u015eehir \u015fehir, k\u00f6y k\u00f6y, hane hane, ev ev dola\u015f\u0131yordu askerler. Evler bo\u015falt\u0131l\u0131yor, s\u00fcng\u00fcyle, dip\u00e7ikle insanlar d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131l\u0131yordu. Direni\u015fe asla izin verilmiyordu. \u00c7\u0131kmak istemeyen ya\u015fl\u0131lar hemen kur\u015funa diziliyordu. Kar\u015f\u0131 koymak i\u00e7in haz\u0131rl\u0131kl\u0131 de\u011fildi \u00c7e\u00e7en halk\u0131. \u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k i\u00e7inde ellerine ge\u00e7irdikleri birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a e\u015fyay\u0131, birka\u00e7 dilim ekme\u011fi yanlar\u0131na al\u0131p d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorlard\u0131 askerlerin \u00f6n\u00fcne. Namlular\u0131n ucu nereyi g\u00f6sterirse oraya d\u00f6n\u00fcyorlard\u0131. Y\u00fczlerini yak\u0131yordu \u015fubat ayaz\u0131. S\u0131rtlar\u0131na kar ya\u011f\u0131yordu, \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n elleri. Kad\u0131nlar titriyordu korkudan. \u0130nsanlar a\u011fl\u0131yordu, ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131n g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 sakallar\u0131n\u0131 \u0131slat\u0131yordu. “Nereye g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyorsunuz bizleri, nereye? Bunca insan, bunca ya\u015fl\u0131 ve \u00e7ocuk, bunca kad\u0131n nereye gidebilir?”<\/p>\n
Hi\u00e7 kimseden alam\u0131yorlard\u0131 bu sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131. \u0130tekleniyor, tartaklan\u0131yor, azarlan\u0131yorlard\u0131. Askerlere kar\u015f\u0131 koyan birka\u00e7 gen\u00e7, birka\u00e7 orta ya\u015fl\u0131 adam orac\u0131kta bi\u00e7ilmi\u015fti mermilerle. Birbirine sokulmu\u015f insanc\u0131klar korkulu g\u00f6zlerle bak\u0131yorlard\u0131 ellerinde t\u00fcfeklerle bekle\u015fen askerlere. D\u00fcne kadar konuk ettikleri askerlere, kendi gen\u00e7leriyle birlikte Almanlara kar\u015f\u0131 koyan k\u0131z\u0131l ordunun kahraman askerlerine olup bitenlere anlam veremediklerini ifade eden nazarlarla bak\u0131yorlard\u0131. Ak\u0131llar\u0131 alm\u0131yordu olup biteni.<\/p>\n
Tren istasyonlar\u0131nda bekle\u015fen kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131 her biri. \u0130te kaka s\u0131\u011fd\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131lar siyah hayvan vagonlar\u0131na. Vagonlar t\u0131ka basa insanla dolduruldu.<\/p>\n
Kafkasya bu ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 daha \u00f6nce de ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ya\u015fl\u0131 babas\u0131n\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131nda ne oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir tela\u015f\u0131n i\u00e7inde bulmu\u015ftu kendisini \u0130remhan. Kendisini ta\u015f\u0131makta zorlanan babas\u0131n\u0131n boynuna as\u0131l\u0131p korkulu g\u00f6zlerle izliyordu \u00e7evresini. Ortal\u0131k alabildi\u011fine insan doluydu, a\u011fl\u0131yordu insanlar, \u00e7ocuklar a\u011fl\u0131yordu. Herkes birbirine bir \u015feyler soruyordu. Ayaz dondurucuydu. Kar at\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yordu bir yandan. \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck y\u00fcre\u011fi ya\u015fanacak felaketi sezmi\u015fti. O da a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Kat\u0131la kat\u0131la a\u011fl\u0131yordu babas\u0131n\u0131n kollar\u0131 aras\u0131nda. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcyen v\u00fccudunu babas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131rarak a\u011fl\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
Karanl\u0131k bir odac\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde buldu sonra kendisini. \u0130\u00e7erdeki kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n nefesi \u0131l\u0131tm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 havay\u0131. Usulcac\u0131k indi yorgun babas\u0131n\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131ndan. Ayaklar\u0131 \u00fczerinde do\u011fruldu babas\u0131na tutunarak. \u0130\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu dar odac\u0131k yukar\u0131daki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir aral\u0131ktan \u0131\u015f\u0131k al\u0131yordu yaln\u0131zca. \u00c7ocuk g\u00f6zleriyle se\u00e7meye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 i\u00e7eriyi. Kad\u0131nlar bir tarafa b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f oturmu\u015flard\u0131. Birka\u00e7 \u00e7ocuk ayakta durmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Kendi bulundu\u011fu yerde ya\u015fl\u0131 erkekler vard\u0131 yaln\u0131zca. Kocaman kalpaklar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda y\u00fczleri se\u00e7ilemeyen aksakall\u0131lar dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131m\u0131ldatarak hafif sesle dua m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yordu. Deri paltolar\u0131n\u0131n yakalar\u0131n\u0131 kapam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 hepsi. Kimileri al\u00e7ac\u0131k bir sesle konu\u015fuyordu yan\u0131ndakilerle. “\u00d6ld\u00fcr\u00fclece\u011fiz besbelli,” diyordu birisi. Di\u011feri “Ama ne yapt\u0131k ki biz.”<\/p>\n
Korkun\u00e7 sesler \u00e7\u0131kartarak hareket etmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 tren. \u0130nsanlar yurtlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek istiyordu son bir kez. Tahtalar\u0131n incecik aral\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6zlerini uydurup d\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131 se\u00e7meye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131. Ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerin g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc son vatan manzaras\u0131 karl\u0131 da\u011flar, tipiye tutulmu\u015f insanlar oldu sadece.<\/p>\n
Nereye gidiyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Umar, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131na sar\u0131l\u0131p kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Konu\u015fmuyordu hi\u00e7 kimseyle. G\u00f6zlerini yere dikmi\u015f duruyordu \u00f6ylece. Yorumlamaktan korktu\u011fu r\u00fcyas\u0131 akl\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yordu. O kabusun ger\u00e7ek olmas\u0131ndan korkuyordu. Sevgili \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n, akrabalar\u0131n\u0131n yabanc\u0131 diyarlarda \u00f6l\u00fcp gidece\u011fini g\u00f6rmekten korkuyordu.<\/p>\n
-Bizi al\u0131p denize atacaklar besbelli, dedi kad\u0131nlardan birisi. Bunca adam\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrmeye yetecek mermi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in…<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zleri trenin korkun\u00e7 homurtusuna kar\u0131\u015f\u0131p bo\u011fulmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n
Ya\u015fl\u0131lardan birisi daha so\u011fukkanl\u0131, daha teslim olmu\u015f bir ses tonuyla konu\u015fuyordu.<\/p>\n
-B\u00fcy\u00fcklerimizden duymu\u015ftuk b\u00f6yle g\u00fcnler g\u00f6rece\u011fimizi. Ya\u015fayanlar\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fclere imrenece\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti b\u00fcy\u00fcklerimiz. Onurluca \u00f6lmek i\u00e7in vaktimiz olsun yeter.<\/p>\n
Sessizlik \u00e7\u00f6reklenip kald\u0131 sonra vagonun i\u00e7ine. Tren sars\u0131larak, korkun\u00e7 sesler \u00e7\u0131kararak ilerliyordu korkun\u00e7 kadere do\u011fru. Erkekler olduklar\u0131 yerde g\u00f6zlerini kapay\u0131p \u00f6l\u00fcm \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131yla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k zikir yapmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Vagondaki ya\u015fl\u0131lardan birisi y\u00fczlerce y\u0131ll\u0131k bir \u00c7e\u00e7en ilahisine ses verdi. Peygamber Yakup\u2019un o\u011flu Yusuf\u2019a sesleni\u015fiydi bu. Erkekler titrek sesleriyle hep bir a\u011f\u0131zdan m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
\u201cSun Yousup d\u0131avigana, sun Yousup veina.<\/p>\n
\u0130remhan tam olarak ne olup bitti\u011fini anlamasa da bir felaketin i\u00e7ine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc fark etmi\u015fti. \u0130lahinin ac\u0131kl\u0131 sesinin bast\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 tren g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fc bitmek bilmiyordu. G\u00f6zlerinin se\u00e7ebildi\u011fi kadar\u0131yla bakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 etrafa. Herkes a\u011fl\u0131yordu. B\u00fcy\u00fcklerin a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti daha \u00f6nce. Bir oyunun i\u00e7inde olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark edip tekrar babas\u0131na sokuldu ve duydu\u011fu h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131k seslerini bast\u0131rmak istercesine y\u00fcksek sesle a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Umar kemikli elleriyle k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n sar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fuyor, yan\u0131ndaki kendisinden ya\u015fl\u0131 insanlara ra\u011fmen onun k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bedenine sar\u0131l\u0131yordu fakat susmuyordu \u0130remhan.<\/p>\n
O s\u0131rada kad\u0131nlar\u0131n bulundu\u011fu k\u00f6\u015feden zarif bir g\u00f6lge do\u011frulup temkinli ad\u0131mlarla yakla\u015ft\u0131, hi\u00e7bir s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemeden g\u00f6zleriyle izin istedi Umar\u2019dan. \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131 elinden tutup kad\u0131nlar\u0131n bulundu\u011fu k\u00f6\u015feye \u00e7ekti. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z ellerinde hissetti\u011fi bu \u015fefkatli s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131 koymad\u0131, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ad\u0131mlar\u0131yla yava\u015f yava\u015f y\u00fcr\u00fcrken sustu.<\/p>\n
Gen\u00e7 bir gelindi \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ellerinden tutup yan\u0131na alan. Hen\u00fcz yirmi ya\u015flar\u0131nda bile olmayan sapsar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 beline kadar uzanan yeni evli bir k\u0131zca\u011f\u0131z. Belki kocas\u0131 cephedeydi o an, belki bir ba\u015fka vagonda, belki de toprakta. \u0130ncecik parmaklar\u0131yla tarad\u0131 gen\u00e7 gelin \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n ipeksi sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131, kula\u011f\u0131na g\u00fczel s\u00f6zler m\u0131r\u0131ldand\u0131, y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u0131slanm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcne yakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p al\u00e7ac\u0131k sesiyle bir \u015fark\u0131 m\u0131r\u0131ldand\u0131. \u0130remhan bu karanl\u0131k ve pis kokulu vagonda ho\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tek varl\u0131\u011fa s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck v\u00fccuduyla. Aradan \u00e7ok bir zaman ge\u00e7meden gen\u00e7 geline “Nani” dedi.<\/p>\n
\u0130lk on saat tren hi\u00e7 durmadan yol ald\u0131. Ge\u00e7mek bilmeyen on saatin ard\u0131ndan verilen ilk molada insanlar indirileceklerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek heyecanla kap\u0131lara \u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcler. Bir saat kadar s\u00fcren bir bekleyi\u015ften sonra yeniden homurtuyla hareket etti koca tren katar\u0131. \u0130nsanlar \u00fcmitsizce yerlerine d\u00f6nd\u00fcler. Yanlar\u0131nda getirdikleri birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a yiyecekle bast\u0131rd\u0131lar a\u00e7l\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131. Ve korkun\u00e7 utan\u00e7 saatleri gelip \u00e7att\u0131. Trenin ihtiya\u00e7 gidermek i\u00e7in mola vermeyece\u011fi anla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc ay\u0131ba tercih eden halk\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 y\u00fczlerini arkaya \u00e7evirip ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 tahtaya dayayarak a\u011flad\u0131, a\u011flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
Gen\u00e7 gelin da\u011fl\u0131 adetlerine uydu\u011fu i\u00e7in birka\u00e7 gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hi\u00e7 kimseye sesini duyurmuyor, vagondakilerle konu\u015fmuyordu. Kendisine s\u00f6ylenilenler kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011ferek sessiz kal\u0131yordu. Torbas\u0131ndaki bir par\u00e7a kurutulmu\u015f eti \u0130remhan\u2019a sunup susturmu\u015ftu onun a\u00e7l\u0131k a\u011flay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131. Sonra ona sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc rengini hat\u0131rlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zlerinden s\u00fcz\u00fclen ya\u015flar\u0131 g\u00f6stermemi\u015fti k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131za.<\/p>\n
Yol bitmek bilmiyordu. Kimi istasyonlarda saatlerce mola veriyor fakat vagon kap\u0131lar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131yordu. Yol s\u00fcrd\u00fck\u00e7e \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131yordu \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc isteyenler. \u0130lk pes eden, vagondaki en ya\u015fl\u0131lardan birisi. \u00d6l\u00fcm d\u00f6\u015fe\u011finden kald\u0131r\u0131p s\u00fcr\u00fcklemi\u015flerdi onu istasyona. Bo\u015f bir \u00e7uval gibi at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yere kesik bir solukla y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ihtiyar. Talihliydi belki hemen \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in. Elindeki baston d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcvermi\u015f, g\u00f6zleri vagon kiri\u015flerine tak\u0131l\u0131p kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sessizce al\u0131p bir k\u00f6\u015feye \u00e7ekti onu erkekler. Kad\u0131nlar\u0131n iniltileri y\u00fckseldi. \u0130remhan sessizli\u011fin i\u00e7inde art\u0131k kula\u011f\u0131na \u015fark\u0131 m\u0131r\u0131ldanmayan geline daha bir s\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsanlar y\u00fcreklerine \u00e7\u00f6reklenen endi\u015feyi tart\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu birbirleriyle. Nereye g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcyorlard\u0131? Bu yol nerede bitecekti? Ne yap\u0131labilirdi? Vagon kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk seferde askerlerin silahlar\u0131 \u00fczerine at\u0131l\u0131p \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fclmeyi sa\u011flamak en \u00e7\u0131kar yoldu. Bu u\u011fursuz yolun sonu selamet olamazd\u0131. Fakat a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131yordu vagon kap\u0131s\u0131. \u0130nsanlar sanc\u0131lan\u0131yor, hastalan\u0131yor, bo\u011fuk \u00f6ks\u00fcr\u00fck sesleri, inlemeler y\u00fckseliyordu. Vagon tahtalar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndan keskin bir so\u011fuk giriyordu r\u00fczgarla birlikte. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n nefesleri yetmiyordu i\u00e7eriyi \u0131s\u0131tmaya. \u00c7o\u011fu apar topar kald\u0131r\u0131l\u0131p getirildikleri i\u00e7in s\u0131rtlar\u0131nda do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn palto bile yoktu. Hele kad\u0131nlar… \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e sokuluyorlard\u0131 birbirlerine, \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e ellerini hohluyorlard\u0131. G\u00f6zlerini uydurduklar\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck tahta aral\u0131klar\u0131ndan d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya bakt\u0131klar\u0131nda \u00e7evrede ev, k\u00f6y olmayan \u00e7\u0131plak arazilerden ge\u00e7tiklerini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorlard\u0131. Kar kapl\u0131yd\u0131 her yan. Alabildi\u011fine kar…<\/p>\n
\u0130kinci g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcl\u00fc bir konu\u015fman\u0131n ard\u0131ndan vagon k\u00f6\u015fesinde titre\u015fen kad\u0131nlardan birisi e\u015fyalar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir lamba \u015fi\u015fesini uzatt\u0131 kocas\u0131na. \u015ei\u015fenin dibinde az bir miktar gaz \u00e7alkalan\u0131yordu. “Bir tek kibritle bu utanca son verebilirsin, bir tek kibrit…” dedi. Kad\u0131n\u0131n elindeki lamba \u015fi\u015fesini titreyen eliyle ald\u0131 erkeklerden birisi. \u00c7evresindekilere sorgulayan bak\u0131\u015flarla g\u00f6z gezdirdi. Susuyordu vagondaki herkes. Hi\u00e7 kimse ya\u015famak ister gibi bakm\u0131yordu ona. Lamba \u015fi\u015fesinin i\u00e7indeki az\u0131c\u0131k gaz onlar\u0131 bu sonu belirsiz yolculuktan, bu kahredici ay\u0131ptan kurtarabilirdi. “Bir kibrit,” dedi adam. “Ate\u015f \u00e7\u0131karacak herhangi bir \u015fey”. Cepler ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131, ta\u015f\u0131 bitmi\u015f, bir \u00e7akmaktan ve s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam olmu\u015f \u00fc\u00e7 be\u015f kibrit \u00e7\u00f6p\u00fcnden ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktu. \u015ei\u015fedeki gaz\u0131 vagonun ortas\u0131na d\u00f6k\u00fcp dakikalarca u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131lar, elbiselerini gaz\u0131n d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zemine s\u00fcrd\u00fcler. Hepsi ate\u015f yakmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan adam\u0131n \u00e7evresini sarm\u0131\u015f s\u0131cak ve onurlu bir \u00f6l\u00fcm i\u00e7in bekle\u015fiyordu. Adam ayazdan donmu\u015f sakallar\u0131n\u0131 eliyle kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131, uyu\u015fan ellerini elbisesiyle kurulad\u0131 ve \u00e7akt\u0131. \u0130remhan olup biteni anlamadan izliyordu adam\u0131. Kuca\u011f\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n\u0131n ona daha s\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etti. \u0130\u00e7erde \u00e7akma\u011f\u0131n sesinden ba\u015fka ses yoktu. Islak vagon tahtalar\u0131 aras\u0131ndan s\u0131zan gaz\u0131 tutu\u015fturacak bir tek k\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131m \u00e7\u0131kmad\u0131. Sessizlik i\u00e7inde aniden parlayacak ate\u015fi bekleyen kad\u0131nlar iyice sokuldular birbirine ve g\u00f6zlerini kapad\u0131lar. Yanarak \u00f6lmenin deh\u015fetini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu hi\u00e7 biri. Bu utan\u00e7tan kurtulmak, bu utanca son vermek… Gen\u00e7 gelin \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne dayam\u0131\u015f ara s\u0131ra dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n samurdan yumu\u015fak sa\u00e7lar\u0131na dokundurarak i\u00e7erdeki gerilimi ona hissettirmemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, kesik kesik \u00f6ks\u00fcr\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n
Vagonun alt\u0131ndan giren r\u00fczgar tahtay\u0131 iyice kurutuncaya dek ate\u015f yakma u\u011fra\u015f\u0131s\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Sonunda \u00e7akmak ve k\u0131r\u0131k kibrit \u00e7\u00f6plerini elinden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc adam. Tekrar k\u00f6\u015feye ge\u00e7ti ve iki g\u00fcn \u00f6nce \u00f6len ya\u015fl\u0131 adam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn yan\u0131nda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 elleri aras\u0131na al\u0131p sustu.<\/p>\n
A\u00e7l\u0131k… \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcn ve pisli\u011fin her dakika artan kokusu… Gecenin zifiri karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve b\u0131\u00e7ak gibi keskin kar ayaz\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6reklendi\u011finde, vagonun i\u00e7inde g\u00f6z g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6rmez oluyor ve insanlar uyur taklidi yap\u0131yordu. Herkes g\u00f6zlerini s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 kap\u0131yor, ba\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 kulaklar\u0131na kadar \u00e7ekiyor ve y\u00fczleri d\u0131\u015far\u0131 gelecek \u015fekilde yat\u0131yorlard\u0131. \u0130nsani ihtiya\u00e7lar i\u00e7in s\u0131rayla birisi uyanm\u0131\u015f oluyor, sonra g\u00f6zlerini s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 kapay\u0131p Tanr\u0131ya bu azaba son vermesi i\u00e7in yakar\u0131yorlard\u0131. Sabah ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7ilmeye ba\u015fland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda gri renklerin i\u00e7inde bir k\u00f6\u015fede donup kalm\u0131\u015f bir \u00e7ocuk ya da kad\u0131n cesedini itekliyorlard\u0131 kap\u0131ya do\u011fru. Dua i\u00e7in k\u0131p\u0131rd\u0131yordu dudaklar…<\/p>\n
Art\u0131k yiyecek hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Son m\u0131s\u0131r ekme\u011fi, son kuru et ve dum k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 annelerin elinde \u00e7ocuklar i\u00e7in saklan\u0131yordu. \u00d6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl inlemeler ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 vagonun i\u00e7inde. Tren yava\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda di\u011fer vagonlardan hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015flara kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu sesleri. \u0130nsanlar ya yan vagonda oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckleri akrabalar\u0131na sesleniyor, ya da \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorlard\u0131. Kara tren katar\u0131 cinnet ge\u00e7iren bir s\u00fcr\u00fc insan\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yordu art\u0131k bilinmeyen bir yere.<\/p>\n
Yolculu\u011fun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00fcn\u00fc tahta aral\u0131klar\u0131ndan parlak g\u00fcne\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 huzmeleri karanl\u0131k vagona s\u0131zarken yava\u015flad\u0131 tren… \u0130nsanlar art\u0131k bitmi\u015f y\u00fcreklerinin \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sand\u0131 yerinden. Tren durdu… Kap\u0131lara y\u0131\u011f\u0131ld\u0131lar tekrar. Bo\u015f yere a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 beklediler. Durduklar\u0131 yer bir istasyon olmal\u0131yd\u0131. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan birbiriyle Rus\u00e7a konu\u015fan, \u015fakala\u015fan askerlerin sesleri geliyordu. G\u00fcnlerdir tren sesinden \u00e7\u0131nlayan kulaklar bu kez de megafondan y\u00fckselen sese dikkat kesilmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n
-\u00c7e\u00e7enler! Sovyet meclisinin karar\u0131yla Kazakistan\u2019a g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcyorsunuz. Halk olarak Sosyalist idareye kar\u015f\u0131 koyman\u0131za, Sovyetlerin d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 olan fa\u015fist Almanlarla i\u015fbirli\u011fi yapman\u0131za ra\u011fmen Sovyet meclisi sizleri vatanda\u015flar\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rmekte ve yeni bir ya\u015fam alan\u0131 sunmaktad\u0131r. Yeni yurdunuzda g\u00fcvende olacaks\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n
Anons ayn\u0131 s\u00f6zleri defalarca tekrarlad\u0131. \u0130nsanlarla alay edercesine bir daha bir daha \u00e7\u0131nlad\u0131 kulaklarda. Ard\u0131ndan tren vagonlar\u0131 s\u0131rayla a\u00e7\u0131lmaya ba\u015flanm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131 ki d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcler artt\u0131. Kur\u015fun sesleri, hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015flar, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar y\u00fckseldi. Kar\u015f\u0131 koyan ya da sald\u0131ran birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u00c7e\u00e7ence konu\u015fmalar, Rus\u00e7a k\u00fcf\u00fcrler, emirler birbirine kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Bir saat kadar sonra Umar ve \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n bulundu\u011fu vagonun kap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Bir s\u00fcr\u00fc askerin ve kendilerine y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f namlular\u0131n aras\u0131nda insanlar ihtiya\u00e7 i\u00e7in kendilerine g\u00f6sterilen yere do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcler. Askerler alayl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerle izliyorlard\u0131 onlar\u0131. Oysa s\u00fcrg\u00fcn yolculu\u011funa \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f kad\u0131nlardan \u00e7o\u011funun o\u011flu, e\u015fi ya da karde\u015fi bu ordunun askeri olarak ad\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fi memleketlerde sava\u015f\u0131yordu Almanlara kar\u015f\u0131.<\/p>\n
Bu arada vagon i\u00e7erisindeki iki \u00fc\u00e7 ceset, askerler taraf\u0131ndan s\u00fcr\u00fcklenip g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7eriye bir s\u00fcr\u00fc lahana ve kuru siyah ekmek att\u0131lar ard\u0131ndan. Bir hayvan s\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131 sanki. Dilleri, dinleri, \u00f6rfleri yoktu bu s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn. Ac\u0131yacak, ac\u0131nacak canlar\u0131 yoktu sanki. Vagon i\u00e7erisindeki kirli varile hortumla su dolduruldu. Ses \u00e7\u0131karan birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi bu hortumla \u0131slat\u0131ld\u0131 ve on be\u015f yirmi dakika sonra tekrar namlu g\u00f6zetiminde hakaretlerle t\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131lar vagona.<\/p>\n
Tren tekrar g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle k\u0131m\u0131lday\u0131p bilinmeze do\u011fru ilerlerken duraklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 istasyonda so\u011fuktan kaskat\u0131 kesilmi\u015f cesetler kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sadece.<\/p>\n
Yol uzad\u0131k\u00e7a art\u0131yordu k\u0131\u015f so\u011fu\u011fu. Art\u0131k iliklere i\u015fleyen ayaza dayanmak \u00e7ok zordu. \u00c7e\u00e7enler babalar\u0131ndan duymu\u015flard\u0131 bu topraklar\u0131. Rus \u00fclkesinin bir ucundan di\u011fer ucuna at aya\u011f\u0131yla aylarca s\u00fcren bir yolculukla var\u0131labildi\u011fini, bir ucunun aylarca karanl\u0131kta kalan u\u011fursuz topraklar oldu\u011funu, daha \u00f6tesinde Yec\u00fcc Mec\u00fcc\u2019\u00fcn ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131rd\u0131 ya\u015fl\u0131lar. Bu y\u00fczden onlarla yapt\u0131klar\u0131 sava\u015f\u0131 kaybetmi\u015flerdi. \u00d6ld\u00fcrd\u00fckleri her Rus askerinin yerine bin tanesi geliyordu. \u00d6ld\u00fck\u00e7e \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131yorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Bunca geni\u015f yurtlar\u0131 varken, bunca uzak diyarlara sahipken ne istiyorlard\u0131 \u00c7e\u00e7enlerden. Neden gelmi\u015flerdi Kafkaslara, neden ku\u015faklar boyu dedeleriyle sava\u015fm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. \u015eimdi neden yurtlar\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015flard\u0131 onlar\u0131. Gittik\u00e7e daha halsizle\u015fen bir ses tonuyla kendi aralar\u0131nda bunlar\u0131 konu\u015fuyordu insanlar.<\/p>\n
Art\u0131k en az\u0131ndan ak\u0131betlerinin ne olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kestirebiliyordu insanlar. Demek Sovyet meclisi \u00c7e\u00e7en halk\u0131n\u0131n Almanlarla i\u015fbirli\u011fi etti\u011fine inan\u0131yordu. Demek bu a\u011f\u0131r su\u00e7a ra\u011fmen kendilerine ya\u015fam hakk\u0131 bah\u015fedilmi\u015fti. Demek bundan sonra d\u00fcnya haritas\u0131nda bile yeri bulunamayacak uzak ve so\u011fuk \u00fclkelere da\u011f\u0131t\u0131lacaklard\u0131. Demek bundan sonra karl\u0131 da\u011flar\u0131n\u0131, ye\u015fil ovalar\u0131n\u0131, sevgili vatanlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6remeyeceklerdi. Demek baba mezarlar\u0131ndan uzakta yaban ellerde \u00f6leceklerdi. Demek kopart\u0131ld\u0131klar\u0131 akrabalar\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeleri ancak kadere kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 art\u0131k.<\/p>\n
Bu belirsizli\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck\u00e7e kahroluyordu insanlar. Bir ak\u015fam kad\u0131nlar\u0131n birbirine yaslan\u0131p kald\u0131klar\u0131 k\u00f6\u015feden ac\u0131 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klarla f\u0131rlad\u0131 bir kad\u0131n. Elbiselerini par\u00e7alayarak ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131ndan ayr\u0131 bir vagona bindirilmi\u015fti ve onlara ne oldu\u011funu bilmiyordu. G\u00fcnlerdir ay\u0131p olaca\u011f\u0131 korkusuyla i\u00e7indeki endi\u015feyi d\u0131\u015fa vuramayan kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z\u0131n zihni infilak etmi\u015fti sonunda. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle susturulup bir k\u00f6\u015feye oturtuldu ama bundan sonra o d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemeyen, idrak edemeyen bir canl\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n
So\u011fu\u011fun elleri tamamen teslim alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 insanlar\u0131. Dondurucu Sibirya \u015fubat\u0131na dayanmak art\u0131k imkans\u0131zd\u0131, eksiksiz herkes \u00f6ks\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. \u0130\u00e7lerini \u0131s\u0131tabilecekleri hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktu \u00fcstelik. \u0130stasyonda duraklad\u0131klar\u0131 zaman vagona at\u0131lan lahanalardan geriye pek bir \u015fey kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kirli, \u00fczeri buz kesmi\u015f bir varil sudan ba\u015fka i\u00e7ecek yoktu. Tren saatlerce yol al\u0131yor, saatlerce durakl\u0131yor ve tekrar yola koyuluyordu.<\/p>\n
\u0130remhan\u2019\u0131 bir \u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcn s\u0131rt\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lan deri bir sakoya sarm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Art\u0131k g\u00f6zleri karanl\u0131\u011fa ve g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131na al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e sokuluyordu kollar\u0131yla kendisine s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131lan sar\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131 geline. Ac\u0131kt\u0131k\u00e7a “Nani! Beybik dats datsi?” diyerek ona m\u0131zm\u0131zlan\u0131yor ve onun titrek elleriyle uzatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yiyecek k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131yla a\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bast\u0131r\u0131yordu. Sonra tekrar uykuya dal\u0131yordu gelinin kollar\u0131nda. Gen\u00e7 gelin kendisine s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131p uykuya dalan \u00e7ocu\u011fu uyand\u0131rmamak i\u00e7in k\u0131m\u0131ldayam\u0131yor, dayan\u0131lmaz \u00f6ks\u00fcr\u00fck n\u00f6betlerini ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcyle a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 kapayarak ona duyurmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Yine b\u00f6yle bir uyuklama sonras\u0131 \u0130remhan hafif\u00e7e k\u0131p\u0131rdan\u0131p kendisini saran kollar\u0131 daha fazla hissetmek arzusuyla huzursuzland\u0131. A\u00e7t\u0131, s\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131kt\u0131 ve bu i\u011fren\u00e7 kokulu so\u011fuk vagona daha fazla dayanam\u0131yordu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck elleriyle ba\u015f\u0131 yana d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f duran gelinin yana\u011f\u0131na dokundu. Sonra korkuyla \u00e7ekti elini geriye. Gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n\u0131n yana\u011f\u0131 buz kesilmi\u015fti. Belini kavrayan kolu tutup sarst\u0131. Hi\u00e7bir tepki vermeden d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc \u00f6ylece. \u0130remhan ne oldu\u011funu anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa ba\u011f\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130\u00e7erdeki hava \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n \u201cNani! Nani!\u201d \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131yla \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir hal alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Vagondaki herkes halsiz bir \u015fekilde ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p ona bakt\u0131. Art\u0131k \u00f6lene imreniliyordu adeta. Kad\u0131nlar a\u011flayarak ba\u015f\u0131na \u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde ay\u0131rd\u0131lar onu be\u015f g\u00fcnd\u00fcr anne bildi\u011fi, sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131zdan. Boylu boyunca uzatt\u0131lar vagonun bir k\u00f6\u015fesine. Uzun sar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerine b\u0131rak\u0131p ba\u015fucunda dualar okuyarak g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u0131slatt\u0131lar gen\u00e7 gelinin bedenini.<\/p>\n
O g\u00fcn\u00fcn ak\u015fam\u0131 tekrar durdu utan\u00e7 treni. Kal\u0131n bir kar tabakas\u0131yla kapl\u0131, yol iz g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen bir kar \u00e7\u00f6l\u00fcnde… Vagon kap\u0131lar\u0131 yine s\u0131rayla a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131, art\u0131k direnmeye, kar\u015f\u0131 koymaya mecali kalmam\u0131\u015f, a\u00e7 ve hasta insanlar silahl\u0131 askerlerin olu\u015fturdu\u011fu bir koridordan ge\u00e7irilip ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 i\u00e7in bir yere topland\u0131lar.. Kal\u0131n paltolar\u0131na sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f k\u00fcrk ba\u015fl\u0131kl\u0131 Rus saldatlar\u0131 aceleyle emirler ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131yorlard\u0131 birbirlerine. R\u00fczgar\u0131n u\u011fultusu al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordu ba\u011fr\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131, sesler tipiye, borana kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Ayaklar\u0131nda ka\u00e7mak i\u00e7in g\u00fc\u00e7 bulabilen bir ka\u00e7 ki\u015fi askerlerin a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 ate\u015fle cans\u0131z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcverdi yere. \u0130nsanlar art\u0131k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemiyordu. Tepkisiz bir \u015fekilde bak\u0131yorlard\u0131 \u00e7evrelerine.<\/p>\n
Vagon i\u00e7lerine lahana ve siyah ekmek at\u0131ld\u0131. \u0130\u00e7i buz tutmu\u015f siyah varilin i\u00e7ine kar suyu dolduruldu ve \u00f6l\u00fcler vagonlardan \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131ld\u0131. Gen\u00e7 gelinin cenazesi de iki yorgun \u00c7e\u00e7en erkek taraf\u0131ndan vagondan indirilip karlar\u0131n \u00fczerine b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131. Soluk mavi elbiseden ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktu \u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fczerinde. \u00c7e\u00e7enler \u00f6l\u00fcy\u00fc g\u00f6mmek i\u00e7in kazma k\u00fcrek istediler. Askerler sert\u00e7e reddetti bu iste\u011fi. \u0130nsanlar \u00f6l\u00fclerine son vazifelerini yapmak i\u00e7in \u0131srar edince zorla tekrar t\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131lar vagonlara. Kara tren katarlar\u0131n\u0131n kap\u0131lar\u0131 bir bir kapand\u0131 i\u00e7erdeki \u00e7aresiz insanlar\u0131n \u00fczerine. Tekrar karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ine b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp kald\u0131lar. Bu kez vagonun i\u00e7ini so\u011fuktan ve a\u00e7l\u0131ktan daha korkun\u00e7 bir sessizlik kaplad\u0131. \u0130remhan, \u00f6nce g\u00f6zlerini vagonun i\u00e7indeki insanlar\u0131n y\u00fczlerinde gezdirdi tek tek. \u00c7ocuk zihni a\u011flaman\u0131n, ba\u011f\u0131rman\u0131n d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki askerlere etki etmedi\u011fini kabullenmi\u015fti. Vagonun tahta aral\u0131klar\u0131na g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc uydurup bakt\u0131 karlar\u0131n \u00fczerine uzat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gen\u00e7 kad\u0131na. So\u011fuktan kaskat\u0131 kesilmi\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fc vagona d\u00f6n\u00fckt\u00fc gen\u00e7 gelinin. Sar\u0131 ama sapsar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 k\u0131m\u0131ldan\u0131yordu r\u00fczgarda. Rengini bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc hat\u0131rlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zleri aral\u0131kt\u0131 ve manas\u0131z, p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131z bir \u015fekilde bak\u0131yordu kendisine. \u0130remhan, \u00f6nce kesik m\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131larla seslendi \u00f6l\u00fcye. “Haznani! Haznani!” i\u015fte burada bo\u015faltt\u0131 \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcre\u011fini. Kat\u0131la kat\u0131la a\u011flad\u0131 a\u011flad\u0131. \u0130stasyondan ayr\u0131lan trenin donmu\u015f raylarda \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 korkun\u00e7 ses ve tipi bo\u011fuyordu onun “Nani!” \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
2000 ki\u015fi… Grozni \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr Rus u\u00e7aklar\u0131n\u0131n yo\u011fun bombard\u0131man\u0131 alt\u0131nda. \u00d6nceleri bombard\u0131mana birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn ara verildi\u011fi oluyordu ama bu kez kesintisiz bomba ya\u011f\u0131yor \u015fehir enkaz\u0131na. D\u00fcn soka\u011f\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde duran \u00e7ocuk hastanesinin yerinde bug\u00fcn koca bir ta\u015f y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131ndan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey yok. Grozni, ad\u0131 olup kendi olmayan bir hayalet \u015fehir. Grozni, d\u00f6v\u00fcle d\u00f6v\u00fcle \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bir insan\u0131n cesedi kadar y\u0131pranm\u0131\u015f art\u0131k. \u0130nsanlar gruplar halinde terk ediyorlar ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 yeri. Kulaklar\u0131 sa\u011f\u0131r edici u\u00e7ak u\u011fultular\u0131, ayaklar\u0131n bast\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeri sarsan bomba g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcleri, tek t\u00fck t\u00fcfek sesleri…<\/p>\n
Anne \u0130remhan, k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 ve cephedeki tek erkek evlad\u0131n\u0131n iki \u00e7ocu\u011funu yan\u0131na al\u0131p Zavodskoye b\u00f6lgesindeki evinin y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 terk etti. B\u00fct\u00fcn Grozni yollara d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Kalabal\u0131k insan gruplar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerine bile ate\u015f ya\u011f\u0131yordu g\u00f6kten. Sivil halk kurtarabildikleri birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a e\u015fyayla birlikte g\u00fcneye do\u011fru ka\u00e7\u0131yordu. Bir insan hayat\u0131 boyunca birka\u00e7 kere s\u00fcrg\u00fcn ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f ya\u015fl\u0131lar, gen\u00e7 kad\u0131nlar, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuklar kar alt\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcyordu g\u00fcneye do\u011fru.<\/p>\n
\u0130remhan so\u011fukkanl\u0131 olmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131na sahip \u00e7\u0131kmal\u0131yd\u0131. Art\u0131k ya\u015f\u0131 altm\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u00fczerindeydi ve \u00f6l\u00fcmden korkmuyordu. Babas\u0131 Umar\u2019\u0131n hislerini anl\u0131yordu art\u0131k. \u00c7ocuklar ya\u015famal\u0131. Onlar\u0131n ya\u015famas\u0131 tek tesellileri olacakt\u0131. Geriye d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ayaz\u0131n etkisiyle buz kesmi\u015f yanaklar\u0131n\u0131 hissetmiyordu. Y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcler, y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcler. Kendileri gibi nereye gitti\u011fini bilmeden ko\u015fturan insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ilerlediler. Ge\u00e7tikleri her yeri ilk defa g\u00f6r\u00fcyorlard\u0131 sanki. G\u00f6kten ya\u011fan y\u0131k\u0131mdan nasibini almam\u0131\u015f tek bir bina yoktu. \u0130remhan art\u0131k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemiyordu. Bu y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n \u00e7ok de\u011fil, bir ay \u00f6nceki o g\u00f6rkemli \u015fehre ait oldu\u011funa inanmak \u00e7ok zordu. \u015eehrin son evlerinin bulundu\u011fu yere gelince dinlenmek \u00fczere durup geriye \u00e7evirdi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131. G\u00fcnlerdir d\u00f6v\u00fcl\u00fcp duran Grozni\u2019nin heybetli y\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 izledi bir s\u00fcre. \u00c7ocuklar \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu. K\u0131z\u0131 elindeki e\u015fyalar\u0131 yere b\u0131rak\u0131p k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ye\u011fenini kuca\u011f\u0131na alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu esnada yoldaki konvoyun aras\u0131ndan bir kamyonet durdu \u00f6nlerinde. Arabay\u0131 kullanan orta ya\u015fl\u0131 adam bu ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki gen\u00e7 k\u0131za ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuklara ac\u0131y\u0131p onlar\u0131 arac\u0131n vagonuna almay\u0131 teklif etti. Ellerindeki birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a paketi ve iki battaniyeyi i\u00e7eri at\u0131p vagona bindiler. Araba buzlu yol \u00fczerinde hafif bir patinaj yapt\u0131ktan sonra hareket etti. \u0130remhan hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmadan \u00e7ekti torunlar\u0131n\u0131 kendisine do\u011fru. \u00c7ocuklar ne olup bitti\u011fini kestirebilecek ya\u015fta de\u011fildi hen\u00fcz. Araban\u0131n sars\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 ve so\u011fuk k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck torunu a\u011flatmak i\u00e7in yeterliydi. \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ye\u011fenini kollar\u0131yla s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sard\u0131 ve sesindeki korkuyu belli etmemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak so\u011fuktan k\u0131pk\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kesilmi\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ocu\u011fun y\u00fcz\u00fcne yakla\u015ft\u0131rarak bir \u015fark\u0131 m\u0131r\u0131ldanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 onun kula\u011f\u0131na.<\/p>\n
“\u0130sa Musa \u015fi va\u015fe vu,
\nTsera nana Alpatu yu,
\nAlpatu mayra \u015eirvani vu
\n\u015eirvani meko\u015f kolhazah du”<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
Bir yan\u0131lsama, bir dejavu de\u011fildi bu. \u0130remhan ikinci kez ya\u015f\u0131yordu bu s\u00fcrg\u00fcn\u00fc. \u00c7ocuklu\u011funun ilk hat\u0131ras\u0131 geldi akl\u0131na. Zaman\u0131n tortusu sisler aras\u0131nda silikle\u015fmi\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler canland\u0131 zihninde. Elli alt\u0131 y\u0131l \u00f6nce yine bir k\u0131\u015f, babas\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fl\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fc, so\u011fuk, tipi, tren, askerler, sava\u015f, sava\u015f… Yine yollara d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc insanlar. Karanl\u0131k tren vagonunda kendisine sar\u0131lan o ad\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fi, g\u00f6zlerinin rengini an\u0131msamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gelin gelmi\u015fti akl\u0131na. Onu karlar\u0131n \u00fczerinde b\u0131rak\u0131p ayr\u0131l\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131. Novosbirsk yak\u0131nlar\u0131nda babas\u0131n\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131ndan inmi\u015f ve yabanc\u0131s\u0131 olduklar\u0131 bu so\u011fuk topraklarda s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacak bir yer aram\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Tam on d\u00f6rt y\u0131l ge\u00e7irmi\u015flerdi o diyarda. \u0130remhan on d\u00f6rt y\u0131l sonra yurduna d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde babas\u0131 Umar\u2019\u0131 ve ziyan olmu\u015f gen\u00e7li\u011finin en g\u00fczel y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Novosibirsk\u2019te. Zehirden daha ac\u0131 hat\u0131ralard\u0131 bunlar. Hat\u0131ra kelimesinin s\u0131cak \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131ndan o kadar uzakt\u0131 ki. \u0130\u00e7i bu ac\u0131yla kas\u0131ld\u0131, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131na belli etmemek i\u00e7in tutmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kendisini. Kuca\u011f\u0131ndaki torunlar\u0131na sar\u0131ld\u0131 s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 onlar\u0131n \u00fczerine e\u011fdi ve zaptedemedi\u011fi g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u0131slatt\u0131 onlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc.<\/p>\n
G\u00f6kten \u00f6l\u00fcm ya\u011fd\u0131ran u\u00e7aklar ge\u00e7iyordu Grozni \u00fczerinden. Art\u0131k tamamen harabeye d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f \u015fehirle birlikte \u0130remhan\u2019\u0131n yuvas\u0131 da g\u00f6zden uzakla\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Yeni bir s\u00fcrg\u00fcn yoluna \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015flard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Hulusi \u00dcST\u00dcN<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Umar ne \u00e7ok severdi k\u0131z\u0131 \u0130remhan’\u0131. G\u00f6zleri mutluluktan \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l parlard\u0131 onu izlerken. Kuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131p s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duydu\u011funda g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne kar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 sanki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131zca\u011f\u0131z\u0131n bedeni. O, ya\u015fl\u0131l\u0131k \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda Tanr\u0131’n\u0131n g\u00f6n\u00fcl avuntusu olarak verdi\u011fi bir hediyeydi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[127],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ceviriler-makaleler"],"views":5590,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11810","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11810"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11810\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11812,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11810\/revisions\/11812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11810"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11810"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.waynakh.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11810"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}